Friday Tea: Mythbusting

Ready for some myths I heard this week?

“If you follow our child training/spanking advice, your children will grow up to be on fire for Jesus.”

My friend Marissa Franks Burt just published a fiery Op Ed on spanking, and I want to quote all of it.

It isn’t “hilarious” when parents start spanking their children. Christians, we can stop laughing about spanking from pulpits, can stop circulating myths that shepherds break sheep’s legs and, for God’s sake, let’s stop blaming God for our shortsighted parenting practices. Let’s not catechize our families into theological frameworks that represent God as detached and cruel, or an angry parent who doesn’t care who gets punished as long as somebody suffers. What a far cry from the life and teaching of Jesus Christ, who taught us to love God and to love our neighbors, especially our smallest and newest ones.

I have an ARC of Marissa’s forthcoming book, “The Myth of Good Christian Parenting: How False Promises Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical Families,” and I predict that the book will be cited as a turning point in Christian parenting discourse. It’s that good.

“Prayers and patience are an appropriate response to a church denomination that is mishandling church abuse.”

No.

When church leaders demonstrate their priorities, believe them. There is a reason that the ACNA can’t hold Stewart Ruch accountable for his sins: most bishops and cardinals and other people in power do not care about the vulnerable. You cannot rise to that rank without sacrificing your integrity.

If someone in power asks for patience because it’s terribly complicated and you don’t know the full story, be suspicious. If a church leader tries to pit survivors against each other, run. As my friend Audrey points out, "Victims against victims" is what you get when the abuser runs a cult. Some get out, but those who stay become the most vicious defenders of the abuser himself.

Speaking of abusers, here’s the last myth for this week:

Doug Wilson is fringe.

I wish this was true. I really do. But as this week’s coverage on CNN, NYT, New York Magazine, NPR, HuffPost, and others have revealed, his fetid bigotry is far more influential than you think.

Warn your neighbors. Freedom disappears very quickly when you’re taken by surprise.