Why I Don't Homeschool
I was homeschooled K-12. I choose public school for my son.
I was homeschooled from kindergarten through 12th grade. While my experience in an ultra-conservative Christian family is not the experience of all homeschoolers, it is essential that we listen to the voices of children who were homeschooled. Most articles about homeschooling prioritize the parents and do not consider the children’s perspectives, thereby exacerbating the power imbalance in homeschooling narratives. Journalists who are unfamiliar with the history of homeschooling in the US often rely on flawed data from NHERI, a problematic site run by alleged child abuser Brian Ray
There is unfortunately a lack of robust data on homeschooling outcomes; most homeschooling studies are poorly designed and rely on volunteer participants that are not representative of homeschooling as a whole. And even these studies’ findings are frequently misrepresented or misunderstood. This makes it all the more important to listen to people who were homeschooled as children. The #dayofthehomeschooledchild hashtag on Twitter is a great way for parents who homeschool or are considering homeschooling to learn more from homeschooled alumni.
While everyone’s experience is unique, here are some reasons I send my son to public school.
Academic success
I have a master's degree in library science, but I'm not qualified to teach my son about most things, especially as he grows older. I don’t have degrees in child education and I don’t have to do regular professional development for teaching. I want my child to learn from people who are trained to teach.
I am committed to my child’s academic success, but because of the large gaps in my education from 12 years of homeschooling, I could very easily commit educational neglect out of ignorance. Educational neglect is a serious problem in many homeschooling families, and results in adults unaware of what they don’t know.
I want my son to have access to sports, music, and other extracurricular group activities. While homeschool coops can offer some opportunities for group activities, they are usually dependent on expertise and volunteer time from parents.
Mental health
I believe that public schooling can deliver mental health benefits. Why? Because he and I both benefit from not staying home together all day. My son gets to establish his own identity away from me and the home, and I get to maintain a professional identity that isn’t solely “Mom.” I want my son to develop relationships with adult role models who are not dependent on me.
Mental health is an important issue in our society and children experience bullying and other mental health challenges at public schools. However, homeschooled children can also experience bullying from siblings and neglect from parents; when this occurs, the isolation and lack of any support external to the family can compound harm.
Many of my homeschooled peers struggled with undiagnosed learning disabilities and mental illness. My son will have access to medical and mental health screenings and resources through his school.
Diverse community
The first time that I substantially interacted with a non-white person was in my freshman year of college. Growing up in my homeschool community, the only people I saw were other white fundamentalist Christians. My parents intentionally limited my exposure to the people I interacted with on a day-to-day basis and that isolation stunted my development. I don’t want my son’s access to other children and adults dictated by my transportation or scheduling limitations.
I love the fact that my son is one of the only white children in his classroom. I want him to grow up surrounded by diversity. I want his teachers to share different backgrounds and experiences with him. I want him to appreciate a diversity of religious expressions.
Safety
Every time there is a school shooting, homeschool proponents claim that homeschooling is the safer option for children. Unfortunately, most states do not provide the structure and accountability necessary to make homeschooling safe. I support laws and other educational policies that protect vulnerable children from abuse and educational neglect.
In 48 states, it is legal for a person convicted of child sexual abuse to homeschool their children. I may be confident of my ability to keep my child safe at home, but what about the other parents in homeschool coops, where it is rare to find any kind of safeguarding training or policies? I know all too well what happens when abuse occurs within a homeschool coop and no one is required to report it. I prefer to have my son go to school with mandated reporters who are required to pass background checks and other screening measures.
I was homeschooled in New York State. New York’s homeschool laws are more robust than many in the country—for example, parents must submit individualized instruction plans and quarterly reports to their local school district—but they still leave space for educational neglect and other serious forms of abuse by homeschooling parents.
I currently live in Wisconsin, which only requires parents to file a notice with the state and complete 875 hours of instruction per year. There is no way for Wisconsin to ascertain if parents are actually providing those 875 hours of instruction or otherwise providing for their children. All of our children deserve a safe and robust educational environment. And for me, that means a public school.
Preparation for adult life
I want my son to develop confidence and independence for his adult life. After graduating from 12 years of homeschooling, I floundered in my first year of college. I wasn’t used to the routines and expectations for college and work life. Hard deadlines were foreign to me. My son will learn how school works and be more prepared for college than I was.
I want my son to see me working outside the home. While some parents are privileged to work from home, many homeschooling families reinforce gender stereotypes by relying on a stay-at-home mom to teach their children. Research shows that children who see their moms working are more likely to exhibit egalitarian beliefs as adults.
Children deserve access to diverse ways of thinking, knowing, and believing. While public school is not the only way for children to access these things, I believe it’s the best option for my child.
If you are homeschooling your children, please check out the Council for Responsible Home Education to learn how you can promote safe homeschooling in your community.
It's good that you have thought through all the reasons for the kind of schooling that you've chosen for your child. Far too many homeschooling families choose to keep their kids at home out of fear of "government schools" and "godless education." My husband and I homeschooled, but we re-evaluated every year to make sure it was working for us. And the kids turned out pretty well. Our oldest only went to one or two classes at the public school a year, and our youngest did the same thing until his junior year of high school when he went full-time until graduation. And that worked well for our family. Public school is great for most families. Private school works for some. And, homeschool works for some. Unfortunately, there are some homeschooling families who are oversheltering their kids, others who are abusive, and others who engage in educational neglect. I've seen all of those, both when I was working as a physician and when I was going to homeschool meetings. But, not all public school parents are angels - my husband is a math teacher and he sees kids with neglectful parents, kids with abusive parents, kids with helicopter parent. The issue is not so much schooling choice, but parenting choices. So, we do our best. And it sounds like you are making well thought-out choices for your kid. Bravo!
You make a lot of valid points here and I’m 100% supportive of your choices as a parent. My kid is now a YA and I’m frankly very relieved to be done with her primary education. She attended a variety of schools (we moved a lot due to my ex’s career) private, public and then homeschooled 8th grade through high school during the pandemic with a secular, accredited distance learning program. We lived in AR which only requires that parents notify the state Dept of Education that we intend to homeschool. There is zero oversight of curriculum and it shows in the general population’s high level of ignorance…lots of Christofascist people teaching their kids that the Earth is flat and that the solar system is geocentric (I 💩 you not, you can’t make this stuff up). My child was very glad to be spared the toxic, racist and misogynist social environment and active shooter drills of public school and fortunately the distance learning program was excellent. My mother was an excellent public school teacher for 40 years and I do believe that public schools should be well funded, most teachers work incredibly hard. But the forces of hate and ignorance are destroying our schools in many parts of our country. When our thriving local library was defunded because the Christofascists didn’t want them to have LGBTQIA+ materials in the library it was the last straw. We moved to a blue state and kiddo is working for a few years and plans to attend college abroad.